Some Fun With Identity Thieves

10:34am Maximillian
Hey!
You there?
?
10:35am Derek
Hey Max
how's things?

10:36am Maximillian

Not too good here
I`m in a huge mess as we speak
I need your help urgently

10:37am Derek
oh?
what's going on?

10:38am Maximillian

I`m currently out of state now
And i need you to help get back

10:39am Derek

what can I do to help?

10:39am Maximillian

I need you to loan me some few cash down here to my name via western union money transfer

10:40am Derek
oh yeah?
how much are we talking?

10:40am Maximillian

I`ll refund it back as soon as i find my way back home
$820

10:40am Derek
yikes. that's a pretty tall order
where the hell are you anyway?

10:41am Maximillian

I`m far from home
I`m stuck in London,England

10:42am Derek

Jeez. How have you been?
it's been a long time

10:42am Maximillian

I`ve been out of state for about 2 days now
Do you know how to get the sum down to me here
?

10:43am Derek

pretty sure I do.

10:44am Maximillian
Good

10:44am Derek

hey, why'd you fly all the way to England just to need to come back two days later?

10:44am Maximillian

I`m at a local library as we speak
Pls be fast

10:44am Derek

yeah right. Max at a library
that'll be the day
c'mon, where are you really?

10:45am Maximillian
London

10:45am Derek
some whore house or something?

10:45am Maximillian

I`m at kentish town at the moment
Darek i don`t have much time on here to spent

10:45am Derek

weird. hey, you remember that time we all went to that club in Granite Bay, man that was a heavy duty night.
hey, what's happened to your grammar?
you used to be really good with your words.

10:46am Maximillian

I need you to help get this done on time

10:46am Derek

oh? why the urgency?

10:46am Maximillian

You kidding me

10:46am Derek

yes
yes I am
I'm sorry

10:47am Maximillian

Its too scary and brutal here

10:47am Derek

in London, England?!
the most proper place in the world?

how much did you say you needed?

10:47am Maximillian

I need to get flight ticket back home in time

10:47am Derek

in time for what?

10:47am Maximillian

$820

10:47am Derek

out of curiosity
wow, you can get a flight out of london to the US for $820 in one day?

10:48amMaximillian

Lucky i still have my passport with me as an identification to pick up the moneyhere
here

10:48amDerek

that is lucky
wow, you can get a flight out of london to the US for $820 in one day?

10:48amMaximillian

That`s what the embassy told me

10:48amDerek

which embassy?

10:48amMaximillian

It ill be better if you can help wire the money online now as we speak
US embassy here in London

10:49amDerek

oh yeah?
Hey did you run into a guy named Thomas?
he's a buddy of mine from high school
he might be able to help you out of a jam
you remember him right?

10:50am Maximillian
Hey!

10:50amDerek

hello

10:50amMaximillian

How much can you afford to loan me
?

10:50amDerek

What about the Embassy again?

10:51amMaximillian

The embassy told me to get a return ticket

10:51amDerek

how come?
is there some situation?

10:51amMaximillian

The prob is that i did`nt book a round trip ticket and all money i got on me have been stolen by some muggers who attacked me

10:51amDerek

hold on
you were attacked?
man, are you okay?

10:52amMaximillian

Yea
I was mugged at gun point last night

10:52amDerek
damn

10:52amMaximillian

That`s why i`m on here

10:52amDerek

just like the good'ol day huh max?

10:52amMaximillian

My wallet and card were stolen away from me

10:53amDerek

oh no.
that's horrible
what can I do to help?

10:53amMaximillian

That`s the point
I need you to help wire the require sum online now to my name
Via western union money transfer

10:54amDerek

you need money?
how much?

10:55amMaximillian
$2,000 Usd

10:56amDerek
yikes. that's a pretty tall order
did you go to the embassy yet?

10:56amMaximillian

Can`t you get that for me?
Already been there

10:57amDerek
what did they say?

10:58amMaximillian

I`v been told to get a return ticket
How many time have i say this
I told you already earlier
How much can you afford to help with?

11:00amDerek

Hey, do you remember Thomas? I hear he's working out there. He had to get out of the county, on account of that psychopath Helen. Damn she was nutty. I remember you guys were really tight. best friends. He might be able to help.
I'll call him
for you
where are you again?

11:01amMaximillian
Fuck u
Bagga

11:01amDerek
whoa whoa whoa

11:01amMaximillian
Idiot
11:01amDerek
what's with all the language?
ok ok
I'll wire you the money

11:02amMaximillian
Wasting ur father time

11:02amDerek
just stop calling me names?
wasting my father time?

11:02amMaximillian
You fucking with me

11:02amDerek
Max, c'mon, we're buddies, you know I wouldn't do that

11:02amMaximillian
I need you to help me out of mess

11:02amDerek

I hear you
what can I do to help?

11:03amMaximillian
You telling me all sort of rubish

11:03amDerek
rubbish?
you've been in London too long

11:03amMaximillian

How much can you afford to send

11:03amDerek
send what exactly?

11:03amMaximillian
Money
You`re telling me story

11:04amDerek
I am?
ok, how can I send it
?

11:04amMaximillian

Western Union

11:04amDerek

They have Western Union in London?

11:05amMaximillian

Yes
11:05amDerek

wow
will wonders never cease huh?
hey, did you try the embassy?
that's pretty bad that you were attacked.
11:05amMaximillian

Iya la yai

11:05amDerek
and those Britts are always so proud of their manners
Iya la yai?

11:06amMaximillian
Hey you talk to much
too much man

11:06amDerek
you're always saying that
that hurts my feelings
I can't help it.
these keyboards make me all nervouse

11:06amMaximillian
Then bye
Forget it

11:06amDerek
no
wait

11:06amMaximillian
I`ll never forgive you

11:06amDerek
ok
I'll loan you the money
how much was it again?

11:07amMaximillian
$2,000 USD

11:07amDerek

yikes! That's a pretty tall order
when do you need it by?

11:08amMaximillian
Now now

11:08amDerek
oh yeah?
why so fast?

11:08amMaximillian

I need it now to get a flight ticket
Stop all this shit

11:08amDerek

a flight ticket to where exactly?

11:08amMaximillian
I said you should`nt ask me anymore question

11:08amDerek
you did?
was that a question...?

11:09amMaximillian

I`ll remove you from my friends on Fb now if you still continue to ask questions
11:09amDerek

wait, please don't do that. please.
what can I do to help?

11:10amMaximillian
Fuck it

11:10amDerek

you never used to cuss so much max

11:10amMaximillian

You must be kidding with your parent and not me

11:10amDerek

what's happened?

11:10amMaximillian

Ashole

11:10amDerek

are you okay?

11:10amMaximillian

Get lost

11:10amDerek
umm...
where?

11:11amMaximillian

If you`re serious you`ill have done the transfer and not keep on asking how much and how could you help
Just fuck it

11:11amDerek

but why?

11:11amMaximillian

I`ll be removing you straight away

11:11amDerek
okay okay, remove me then
but I won't loan you the money if you do

11:11amMaximillian

You`ill have done the transfer

11:11amDerek
what transfer?

11:11amMaximillian
Lolz

You don`t have money
Bye

11:12amDerek
Max, I'm crushed. is that all mean to you?

11:12amMaximillian

Fuck your generations

11:12amDerek

Fuck my generations?
I don't understand...